Confessions of a Sleepy Disciple

There’s an impulse and urgency to pray that I recognise I don’t always have – arguably, rarely have. When I get up late in the morning, when I come downstairs to read and pray, prayer isn’t really the thing that I’m urgently up for. I have an iPhone and various apps, I have social sharing and posts, I have a cup of coffee and a blanket and a soft armchair.

Oh, Jesus…how I need to learn how to pray.

Before my naked feet have even touched the bedroom floor, before I’ve even looked at a book or a smartphone or a kettle, let my heart learn – finally learn – to cry to you for the fresh oxygen and water and wine and freshly baked bread of your Presence.

Forgive my slovenliness, procrastination, idolatry, distraction…find me longing after you, watching with you, longing for your return and your bride and your fame. Find me focused on you, your speaking voice, content with…you.

Oh, Jesus…how I need to learn how to pray.

Please turn my lethargy into energy, please turn my dullness into the sharpest of vision. Please let me heed your waking, rousing grace and mercy and stand up in prayer like never before. Let fasting be the soul adrenaline that I urgently need, let a reaction of fasting and prayer create a fruitful explosion into Word, Spirit and mission.

Oh, Father…that I would go to bed longing for you, sleep with the longing and wake up with the same longing…that sleep would only be a restful comma in the trailing sentence of my desperation for you.

Oh, Jesus…how I need to learn how to pray.

I want to be a hungry one, a thirsty one…not a replete one picking at the goodness and mercy and grace of Who you are.

Oh, Jesus! Wake me up, Lord.

Published by firebrandnotes

Radical Preparation for the Return of Christ

5 thoughts on “Confessions of a Sleepy Disciple

  1. Echo that Bud! Feel just like the disciples on times. Either falling ‘asleep’ or asking ‘how do we pray?’ Pray that it would be more of the latter than the former for both us and the church. On our knees putting away the distractions. Regrettably, it’s definitely too easy to go through the motions of a day and not converse with Abba Father!!

  2. “Lord God, creator of all, Saviour and Friend. Thank you for Nick and his encouragement and courage in being an online disciple for You. I pray for Nick and myself that you will be the Fire in our bones and the compass of our heart. Lord I pray for both us and other Christians who fail you on so many occasions. Who fall asleep or just plain lethargic when it comes to the things of You. A pray “Set a Fire” in our hearts to seize the moment, every moment with thoughts and actions for you and your kingdom. Jesus Come!! Amen” God bless you and Mairi

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